HEY BESTIE: I’ve just been diagnosed with an STD despite being in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend for five years now. We used to have an open relationship and were both sexually active with other partners, but we decided to put a stop to that some time ago now. This might sound naive but is there any scenario in which this could be possible without my partner cheating on me?
Thank you for this absolutely brilliant question that I wish more people weren’t afraid to ask because it might actually surprise you —and save some relationships as well.
There are a range of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), some worse than others and most can be easily treated.
Unfortunately, some STDs lay dormant or even undetected because you might not experience symptoms for years! Some of those might include herpes simplex virus (HSV), chlamydia, hepatitis C, HIV, and syphilis.
Please be aware that there’s a test sweet spot.
You can’t test too early as some STDs might not show up because each STD has what is called an “incubation period”, the amount of time it takes from when you got the infection and when the symptoms begin to appear.
You also don’t want to completely forget about testing either. Ideally, regular testing is always recommended.
If you fail to test and have an STD, you could pass the STD on to other partners or you can develop long term health impacts, which could include:
Cervical cancer (usually from untreated human papilloma virus – HPV)Organ damage, paralysis or death (untreated syphilis)Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or infertility in women (untreated chlamydia and gonorrhoea)Health challenges during pregnancy and to the unborn baby (untreated HIV, hepatitis B or other bacterial STDs)
So, if you test too early, the STD might not show up. Once you are past the incubation period and test, even dormant STDs can be detected – hence the need for regular testing.
If you are in a monogamous relationship and you’ve been tested twice for STDs, let’s say within the past 6 and 3 months and you were negative on all fronts, then sorry to break the news, let’s call it for what it is: ceating!
You may be in a monogamous relationship, but it doesn’t seem as though your partner is.
If, however, you never previously had an STD check, then unfortunately you won’t know whether the current STD is from the current partner or past partners.
When it comes to detection of STDs earlier diagnosis and treatment is the best option to avoid long term health complications because after all, everyone deserves to have enjoyable sexual experiences without the worry of STDs. When in doubt, get tested and use protection.
Your Bestie,
Amanda x
Amanda Lambros is a sexologist and relationship coach with almost two decades of experience who takes pride in her “no b-s” approach to solving your problems. She is also a certified speaking professional and has written several books on relationships, health and business which have sold more than 150,000 copies.
Do you have a question for Amanda? Email [email protected] (don’t worry, we won’t publish your name!)
Discovered on: 2023-02-16 18:00:00
Source: HEY BESTIE: I’ve been diagnosed with an STD does that mean my partner is ch…
