I’ve debating the pros and cons of writing this to expose the homewreckers, yes multiple homewreckers. I found out about my husband’s affairs on Easter this year. The summer of 2012 was probably our most difficult time in our marriage. We have been together 9 years and married for 8 years. We have both been married before and have children from those marriages. We have 7 children total and the youngest 4 are mine and the youngest 2 children of my 4 are ours together. I have not trusted him since the first six months we were married, for reasons that would take days to explain but I caught him in lies that were petty and insignificant, and some lies that had I known then the real truth, I would’ve left and never been in the situation I’m faced with today. In other words, the truth was better than the lies. He has been this way as long as I’ve known him. Only now can I see he is a narcissist and a habitual liar. He’s the type of person that is very like able and fun, can be great if he wants to be but you just can’t believe anything he says. My doubts have always been there because of his unnecessary lies, so I have worn myself out playing detective for years but this time I knew something was bad.
His job requires him to work out of state for extended lengths of time and that has always made me edgy with my lack of trust from so early on but last summer everything hit rock bottom. We argued more than ever, we would go longer and longer without talking, maybe a text or so but very, very little and he was 1000 miles from home and I was at home taking care of 4 kids alone. I couldn’t find time to go see him and now I believe I subconsciously avoided what my gut was telling me. I “stuck my head in the sand” and pretended it wasn’t there. So from June 2012 to Christmas he never came home, yes six months, and I never went to see him and we went the entire time with just phone calls and nothing more. When he came home for Christmas it was an instant fight and he told me he thought we were only married for money. My heart was broke and I cried to him that I was married because I loved him and we had two little girls together and we had fought so hard to be together when we were first married. He left December 26 to return to work, which he’d never done before. He was always home through the New Year so again, I ignored my gut feeling. I would check our cell phone bill but he had another iPhone that was paid for from the company he works for and I could never gain access to the bill, although I admit I tried haha but I knew he had another phone so I did more digging and prying until March and then I found 15 different phone numbers in his work phone. I was floored, heartbroken and dumbfounded to say the least. I began a 4 day binge of not eating, not sleeping, staying up on the computer day and night to research every name and number I had found. I never called any of the women so I didn’t “tip my hat” and set off any alarms but I found most of their last names and a few other bits of info and I never said anything to him. He decided to come home Easter weekend and we were going to visit with family. Now ironically he had started coming home much more than he had any time before this and even the weekend of March 9 he came home for our daughter’s birthday but actually called me the day before and said he wanted to come home so we could have sex!! Not because it’s his daughters birthday, which pissed me off.
He came home and was gushing and raving how he knew he had been a dickhead to me so much and wasn’t being a good husband and how he was going to start acting better and treating me the way I deserved to be treated. I knew I smelled a rat! My detective instinct was on and I asked him multiple times “What have you done?” “You’ve done something and I can tell!” He would say “No I love you and I promise to be a better husband!” I knew something was up. On Saturday March 30 I was waiting for him to arrive at my parents house for our family egg hunt and dinner. When he came in, I cringed. I knew there was so much I wanted to say and just needed the answers to my questions. We ate, our family hunted eggs and we left. When we got home I checked our caller ID and a number appeared, multiple times. I immediately recognized it. It was one of the phone numbers I had found!! Holy crap!! The first thing i can think is Why is she calling my house?? Did she leave a message on the machine? I scrambled, all the while he is still oblivious. I keep a tight lip and we take the kids to town. He is being overly nice and funny, to the point it’s annoying. I can barely look at him. Finally we come back home and I check the calls again and lo an behold she is still calling my house! What is going on? So through all my searching and playing detective I had found that my husband had deleted the women’s phone numbers from his contact list before he had come home that weekend. The day before actually. If you don’t have anything to hide why delete them right? I had found a way to restore them and I did!! I restored all his deleted contacts and Then I immediately asked him to see his phone!! Unknown to him, the deleted names and phone numbers were in his contact list! I began asking who is this? Who is this? He couldn’t pick his jaw up! He began stuttering and stammering and then we struggled over the phone. He pried it from my hands and bolted out out the door! I pursued him but he jumped in his truck and he fled!!! I couldn’t leave the kids home alone to chase him. I called him and he refused to return home. I called every number I had found and all the women played dumb or didn’t answer.
After two hours of calling him, he finally returned to discuss it. He denied everything for hours. He denied having any contact with any of the women except one and she was an old landlord he had rented a place from but said he thought I was having an affair and he had been drinking heavily for months. We talked a while, we were intimate and he fell asleep. I instantly went back into detective mode. First I tried to access his work phone bill online and it was sending texts with a password to his phone. I was panicked! I crept into our bedroom, I unlocked his truck from inside the house by sticking my hand in his jeans pocket while he was asleep and then ran out as quiet as a mouse before the truck automatically locked back, I found he had hid both of his cell phones and I went through them. Well I was absolutely dumbfounded when I read two text messages from a girl named Sabrina. In her text she apologized for everything that had happened and said she was sorry her friend had taken her phone and called him while she drunk and cussed him out. I sat there staring at this wondering what I was gonna do and trying to be quiet as a mouse so no one would wake up and catch me. I forwarded the messages to myself and went back in the house to get my home phone. I called the number and she answered at 3:45 AM. I was not friendly. I said to her “You’re F***ed!!” and she hung up. After several more calls where she kept hanging up on me, I decided to get his phone and call her again from it!! She answered and was more than shocked to hear me on the line again! I asked who she was, how she knew my husband and what the nature of their relationship was. She sang like a bird! She told me she was 21, (he is 44) and he had told her he was 36, never been married and only had one child!!!! WTF! I’m sitting there inside his truck while he and the kids are inside the house sleeping and I’m thinking “Is this really happening??” Is this for real???She said he had met her at her job, she is nude dancer and spent “a LOT of money” on her and never wore a wedding band! WTF! I’m about to lose my mind now! Did she really just say she is a stripper?! OOOOOOOH MYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOD They had met in October 2012 and talked at the strip club until January 2013 and then they had sex Jan 20, 2013! I was gagging and dry heaving and she just sat there. she asked if I was ok and I just wept. I couldn’t speak. She asked if she could ask me one question so I said yes. She asked if I had a daughter named “?” I said yes I do. She asked is she dead? Well ladies and gentlemen, I thought everything up until this point was bad, but this, well there were just no words for this. I lost it! I went crazy! I was screaming every vile curse word I could think of! Then I was absolutely stunned, speechless, no words would come out. I said umm no, she is inside the house in her bed asleep! She is absolutely not dead! Why? Why would you ask that?! She said to me Because he, (my husband and the father of this little girl!) had told her that in February 2013 he had to come to our home state to bury his daughter and her mother from a car accident that killed them both! I broke down and cried hysterically, she apologized many, many times and swore she did not know he was married. Her friends had tried to warn her that they thought it was strange he was 36, haha and never been married and they told her he probably was and was probably living a double life! Well they were right about one thing! He had never worn any ring according to her and had specifically said he had never married. She also said that he had called her in the middle of the night once claiming to want to commit suicide after the funeral’s and she talked him out of it. Then she told me he said he was a country music singer and had signed a record deal on Valentines Day! I told her he can not play a single instrument at all! She then says soon after that, he told her his job was moving again only this time he would be in Africa. So they had sex a few times and went to parties together, she knew some things that were not important but I knew were true things that we had done or talked about and he had talked to her about it only he left me or the kids out of it. Then she told me she had pictures of him and some texts that she would send me and that he had broke it off with her when he had to move to Africa. He actually moved a state over and was 5 or so hours away. She said he text her pictures of the wildlife and scenery from Africa from time to time. THEN she tells me that she has to be tested for STD’s at work regularly and she had just been tested and was positive for chlamydia. She insisted he had given it to her. She also said she had called him 3 weeks prior to this and told him she had tested positive for it and she was pissed he had given it to her! I said be glad it isn’t herpes!!! She said she hadn’t slept with anyone else but him since January.
I hung up the phone and couldn’t carry myself back inside the house. I put all his phones back as they had been, locked the truck back and proceeded to go back inside where he was at. Only this time I wasn’t being to quiet. I grabbed his keys and hid them so he wouldn’t be able to leave again and would sit and face me either telling me or walk if he wanted to leave. I was just in complete shock and she text me. The sound of phone buzzing woke him up. He jumped up and began to get dressed and wanted to know what I was doing. I confronted him in the calmest tone of voice and he denied it all. I called her and put her on speaker phone. She lashed out him calling him every thing but a white man! He wouldn’t speak. He wouldn’t come near the phone. He paced in our driveway. I stayed calm and after some coaxing he finally admitted it. I wasn’t sure what I was hearing. My phone was in my pocket still on silent and I couldn’t hear her texting me and he was still lying about certain details. He finally in the mist of it all, says what is that noise? I was puzzled? What noise? I took out my phone and realized she had text me nine pictures of him! I read her texts. She had sent me multiple photos of him, his genitals where they’d had phone sex, and unbelievable amount of texts from the two of them. He had told her how much he loved her, called her honey, baby, beautiful (GAG) told her how beautiful she was and how great her body felt. The messages were more than I could take. I sat silently. At that point he could no longer deny it. He asked if I was going to file for a divorce. I said no. I said I believe in forgiveness and we would try to make it work. I never went to bed and took my children to church and Easter dinner. He was set to leave after lunch.
One thing kept nagged at me though. Who had called my house? It wasn’t the same number as Sabrina’s. I asked him who the woman was that had called the house? It wasn’t the same number that I called Sabrina on or the same number she had text from. Whoever she was, she wouldn’t answer after she had called over 20 times. He told me she worked with his company but she was living with a man that was very high up in the company and he had no idea why she had called. I said call her back. He became very mad and defensive. Refusing to call her, claiming her “boyfriend” would have him fired if we messed with her or aggravated her. Knowing this job is our financial lifesaver, I didn’t push it as hard as I knew I should have. He eventually gave in, within an hour or so and called her but again she wouldn’t answer. I asked him to leave a message to not call our house or contact us again. He did but man was he angry! I demanded to see his wallet. Why? no idea. But he let me and inside wasn’t much but there was a business card!! With her damn name on it!! I was furious! He said she had given it to him and he really didn’t know why he kept it! I wanted to puke. I wanted to explode. I was a ticking time bomb! He stormed out and left for work 600 miles away. I was devastated. I was so upset. I thought it was a dream, a nightmare. I sat on the bed crying, for what seemed like hours. Finally I went to the computer pulled up our cell phone bill to comb through it again and he had received a text from the woman calling our house! Then he had replied!! I was distraught!!! I called him and asked him what she said and he had the nerve, the audacity, the balls!!! to tell me he had not received a text and he had not sent a text! I was out of my right mind. I was screaming you think I’m crazy?! You think I’m stupid?! The phone company doesn’t pull a phone number out of thin air and stick it on our bill!! You lying sack of crap!! I was livid! He continued to say this every time I asked him. For months, I would ask him about it. I would say “Call her. Ask her why she called our house.” He refused. He would give me the same answer every time. I would say “Just tell me the truth!” Tell me you f**ked her! Every time the answer was ” I NEVER touched her! She lives with someone! I worked with both of them!”
I couldn’t handle it. I had a nervous breakdown a week later but was trying to hold it together for the kids. Inside I was broken. Lowest of my life. I kept asking him about this other woman and why she would’ve called so much and then not answer and each time he became defensive and angry. I knew in my gut something wasn’t right about this. Like I said i asked him for answers for months and always the same reply. Months went by. I’m trying to cope. One day I’m crying the next day I’m trying not to drive 1000 miles to Pennsylvania to find her and ask her myself. Two months go by. My birthday comes and he whisked me away to a “weekend trip” without the kids, which we had never done. I ask him again why did she call? His answer was always I never touched her, I never went anywhere with her, she was living with her boyfriend and he could fire me so do not call her! I was trying to believe it but it just didn’t sit well with me. My gut knew what my heart wouldn’t listen to. Within 3 weeks of that trip we went again on another vacation with our kids. It was different. I felt he wasn’t leaving my sight because he making me feel like I was the guilty one! He wouldn’t play with the kids, he wouldn’t take them to the pool without me under his feet. It drove me insane. We argued and it was terrible. We came home and he left for work again. Every day was a battle. An inner battle not to sit on the computer watching his every move, every call, every text. I drove myself crazy and my kids were watching. Finally a week after the second vacation we were arguing and I said “I’ll call her and ask her myself!!” He was pissed!! He screamed at me “that was harassment and you can’t just call people up in the middle of the night!!” I said “I don’t care! I wanna know why she is calling MY house and why you are so hell bent on protecting her!” So the night of June 27 I said that around midnight I was calling her. He was livid. I hung up but never called her. The next day I called my mom and told her the story and she said “Call her! What do you have to lose? I would call her and want to know!” I decided she was right and I called. Well she answered!! I stuttered is this Jen? She sat there. I asked again and she rudely said yes!! I told her I’d been trying for a while to contact her and again she very rudely informed me that she knew I had been calling and the last time I called her she was on vacation with her kids. Then she said “yeah he text me last night at 1:15 AM” (he was an hour ahead of me as is she) I said who did? He did? (Only I said his name) she said yes! Then it occurs to me, I never told her who I was! I had never said my name and my phone number was blocked! She said to me “he text me and it said Don’t answer the phone at all! It’s crazy time again!!” Once more, I’m flabbergasted! My mind is racing a mile a minute. She says in her bitchy attitude “she was at work but there was a lot of shit I needed to know and she would call me back after work.” I said ok well you have my home number. It’s the one you called Easter weekend. She exclaims that she did NOT call me, had never called my house! I said yes I have it on the caller ID! She still denies it. She is ridiculously rude to me, but as I have learned you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, so I’m trying to stay calm. I give her cell number and I said you can call me and tell me everything when you get off. We hang up. Within ten minutes my husband calls me. He says what are you doing? In a friendly tone. I say Oh Nothing! He asks what’s wrong? I say Oh nothing! He says why are you talking like that? I say oh you know, it’s crazy time again!! He stutters and clammers and says what are you talking about? Why are you saying that? I say I don’t know, you tell me. You could’ve heard a pin drop. For months he had sworn on our marriage, would say extreme lengths he would go to prove his honesty that had NEVER slept with her, nor laid a hand on her and now he knows I have spoke to her. He wouldn’t immediately open up. He would only say you’ve already talked to her so you already know. I was as shocked as the first time. I would say “TELL ME THE DAMN TRUTH!!!” he would say you’ve already talked to her. you know the truth. after about 15 minutes of arguing, he finally confessed to it all and I was numb.
He said it all started last June. (2012) He said after we didn’t go on a vacation we had planned, he convinced himself that I was having an affair. He began working out constantly, losing 40 pounds! And was going to a tanning bed daily. He said she worked with him on his crew and he would get her in his company truck and take her with him to do his job, leaving the men to actually work. He said one day they were riding around the job site and he had to go “check something” and took her with him. They were talking and he said he got out of the truck and she came around on his side and kissed him. (I later asked him how he knew that day she would just f**k him if they hadn’t talked about it or hadn’t been saying things to each other and he said I don’t know, I just knew she would.) he said that’s when they f**ked for the first time! On the job site! In his company truck! In the backseat! He opened all the doors and she stripped down and f**ked him! What a nasty whore!!! He said he wore his wedding band every day and my dad works with him and lived with him!!! She knew my father was out there and she f**ked him anyways!!! You stupid nasty bitch! Then he said it only lasted 3 months! Only?! I said why did she call my house!!! He said when he tried to end it with her, she would always threaten to call me and tell me! So he would go back to her to keep her quiet?! What a f**king dumbass he is! I said what about her boyfriend?! Her fiancé? Her live in? Those were the 3 different names my husband used to describe him when he was trying to convince me he had never touched her. Those were subtle clues I picked up on and that told me there was more to the story than just what he was saying. I was right.
Anyways, my husband said he was gone and had broke up with her. He claimed he didn’t know why. He said he was using that to keep me from calling her. I was insanely pissed. Well they were living together and her boyfriend worked out there with both of them and he is married to another woman that was 1000 miles away! And the two of them were engaged while she is screwing my husband! He told me how if they didn’t have enough time to f**k at work then she would give him a blow job in his truck. I asked how many times they did that and he said a lot. I was sunk. I’ve never been so lost in this world as I was when I heard all these things coming from his mouth. All I could think was Who are you? What happened to my husband? The entire time he is telling me, I began packing a bag and my daughters bags and I was going to see him three states away to look him in the face. I wanted to claw his eye balls out!! I cried and cried and loaded the car and took off at 10:00 at night. I tried to call this woman many times and she never answered. I wanted to hear her side. I wanted more details from her. He couldn’t remember dates or times and I knew she would. He said she knew he was married with children and all she would say about it was “It is what it is” He told me they talked about marriage and he told her that he would not marry again and she was fine with that!! Stupid cum guzzling whore! Needless to say I have called her, text her, said everything I can think of to her and she has denied living with her married boyfriend, she claims my husband lied to her and said we were getting a divorce, (which we were never even close to filing or starting to split last summer), she said my husband was with her and her kids with her entire family for Thanksgiving and again sometime for her daughters birthday party! He missed our daughters birthday which is just before Thanksgiving, the same daughter he said was dead, his baby girl.
When I put the timeline together he was seeing this nasty whore for 8 months! Even while he was screwing the stripper!! I can’t get over all this. I can’t stop thinking about it. I want to confront the bitch face to face and make her look me in my face! I hate her! I found out who her married boyfriend is/was and I called him. He said he had quit the job and moved back home in September 1, 2012! He knew she was cheating but couldn’t figure out who she was cheating with and she had been calling him and trying to reconcile with him since I had called her. She didn’t know my detective skills. This is probably to long but I wanted to tell the majority of the facts. I hate them all and I’m stuck financially because I’m a SAHM and have four kids with a mortgage I could never afford. I’m lost. I’m emotionally drained and wrecked. We are still together, although I’m on depression medicine and have lost weight I shouldn’t lose. I probably weigh 90 pounds. I have panic attacks daily, I’m still edgy and don’t trust a soul. I want to pray that karma ass f**ks her with a cactus and she gets every STD known to man but I know that’s wrong to pray for. My children are changed just by my sadness and depression. Some days I can’t get out of bed. It takes all I have to not make the drive to find both of them. They live in the same town. Pray for me, thank you.